Making Hope

One morning my oldest son joined me in my room for what he called a “devotional date.” The pandemic and ensuing quarantine had been hard on him–as they had been for so many in his age group. He’d wrestled with big emotions and big questions, and when I offered to sit down and look for answers together, he eagerly agreed. 

I had carefully thought about what I wanted to read with him. In conversations I had alluded to a passage in Romans, so it seemed like a natural place to turn. I had read through it beforehand, praying for the conversation to follow and mapping out in my mind how I expected it to go. 

Together we read about how God, in his love for us, redeemed us while we were still sinners. And if he had loved us then, how much more would he love us afterward? Where we were powerless, he had intervened and made us whole. We have peace because of his love for us. 

I was sure our conversation would land here, discussing how God’s grace had abounded. How we weren’t called to perfection of our own making. How we had peace and confidence in what he had done for us. 

But tucked into this discussion of how we were saved are two little sentences: “… we rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5) 

It was these words that lit up for my son. 

“I think I need more suffering, Mom.” 

I raised my eyebrows. This, from the boy who’d felt his current suffering was too much. Who, like most of us, thought his circumstances were unfair and unwelcome. I asked him why he felt that way.

“Because suffering produces hope.”

The thought was foreign to me. Hope? As a result of suffering? I scanned the verse, as though it couldn’t possibly be true. Suffering leads to perseverance, which leads to character, which leads to hope. Hope is the end result of suffering. Hope is the endpoint!

I need more suffering… Because suffering produces hope.

“I think you’re right. I had never realized it before, but you’re completely right. Suffering produces hope. How can that be?”

“If we never suffered, Mom, we’d never know that our hope stood the test. It’s when we suffer and come through it that we learn that hope isn’t empty, it’s real. And we have more hope for the next time.”

I was floored. 

Hope, that thing that so often dangles out there just outside my grasp, is not an accessory to suffering, it’s the purpose for it. It’s in the crucible of suffering that real hope is born. We hold that hope, that hard-earned fruit, in our future sufferings–a gift that multiplies under pressure. This hope doesn’t disappoint, couldn’t disappoint, because it’s stood the test. 
When we feel most hopeless in our circumstances, when we despair and question our suffering, may we find comfort in my son’s truth. May we persevere. Lean into the suffering and let it mark us and change our character. Because at the end of the process, at the end of the suffering, is hope that will not disappoint. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy. In suffering, there is much to be gained. There is hope.